There’s a good article at WaPo by Christine Emba on what’s wrong with men these days. See Men are lost. Here’s a map out of the wilderness. It is thoughtful and sympathetic to men.
A large portion of younger men especially seem to be adrift.
Deindustrialization, automation, free trade and peacetime have shifted the labor market dramatically, and not in men’s favor — the need for physical labor has declined, while soft skills and academic credentials are increasingly rewarded. Growing numbers of working-age men have detached from the labor market, with the biggest drop in employment among men ages 25 to 34. For those in a job, wages have stagnated everywhere except the top.
Meanwhile, women are surging ahead in school and in the workplace, putting a further dent in the “provider” model that has long been ingrained in our conception of masculinity. Men now receive about 74 bachelor’s degrees for every 100 awarded to women, and men account for more than 70 percent of the decline in college enrollment overall. … Men also account for almost 3 of every 4 “deaths of despair,” either from a suicide, alcohol abuse or an overdose.
I’ve written about this before, most recently in Red State Culture and Cornered Animals (June 2022) and Josh Hawley’s “Virtuous Men” Should Grow Up (November 2021). And I think that a whole lot of our societal malfunctions can be traced to this. I’m thinking the gun culture and mass shootings in particular, but IMO this also reaches into most of the tangle of pathologies that pass for “American conservatism” these days.
Hawley et al. blame the Problem With Men on “the Left” — “They want to define the traditional masculine virtues — things like courage and independence and assertiveness — as a danger to society,” which of course is pure horse crap. The Left admires courage, independence and assertiveness (as opposed to aggression) and will be overjoyed if any of those virtues ever make an appearance in MAGAland. However, we are not holding our breath.
The Right says that these poor misunderstood men are being driven to pornography and video games by feminism and woke ideology or something. It’s not their fault, of course. Heaven forbid they would ever take personal responsibility for anything.
I say the problem is that too many young men are stuck in some cartoon version of “traditional masculinity” that they mostly got from watching movies. They’re stuck in a weird box of old cultural stereotypes that serve no purpose in 21st century life. They’re alienated from the larger culture. Their ideas about what their lives are supposed be gave them a truckload of expectations that are not being met.
It is a lot harder for most young folks to get started in adult life, to get a steady job that pays a living wage with benefits, never mind buy a house and the other trappings of American middle-class life they were raised to expect as “normal.” But that’s true for young women also. The difference, IMO, is that young women have different expectations. The girls know that The System isn’t going to give them anything. They know that if they want something, they’re going to have to make plans and work their butts off for it. There are young men out there who are working their butts off also, of course, but they aren’t the ones who are adrift.
I keep reading that “traditional masculinity” is stoic. I infer this is not a reference to the old Greek philosophical system but an ideal that men are not emotional. That’s the old stereotype that helped keep women subjugated for so long; women are too emotional while men are logical. Never mind that the huge majority of homicides and bar fights are perpetrated by men (see also). People who are taught to repress and deny their emotions are people who are not good at processing emotions. Throw in alienation, disappointment, lack of purpose and direction, and lots of guns and watch the mass shootings commence.
Comments to the article tend to fall along the lines of (a) What problem? Who cares? Why is this article so long?; (b) Men brought this on themselves and can kiss my ass; and (c) Let’s just have a genderless society. None of those are helpful. I think there is a real societal problem that needs addressing. However, I have no idea how we’re going to address it.
<b>"Galloway leaned into the screen. “My view is that, for masculinity, a decent place to start is garnering the skills and strength that you can advocate for and protect others with. If you’re really strong and smart, you will garner enough power, influence, kindness to begin protecting others. That is it. Full stop. Real men protect other people.” </b>
Protecting others isn't the only positive male trait. It's not a bad one.Yes, women can also display protective traits – in nature, there's nothing more fierce than a mother protecting her young. Does that make it less manly for a man to be an advocate for the weak? I think not.
What other traits might a man adopt for himself? Let's talk about what doesn't work. Greed. There's nothing revolting about a go-getter getting ahead. But I hustler I knew from HS once sold a house out from under a married couple (also HS friends) so he could make a few bucks because the market had changed. He'd sell out his mother for a few bucks. Lazy? Ummmmm, no. Hard-working a big plus but reserve time for relationships. Disciplined. Hell, yes. I studied the martial arts for years as a teen. My mentor was a felon who learned in the California prison system. And he was deadly. But every class included a discussion how to avoid a fight, and when to recognize if a fight was unavoidable. I think being disciplined in music or gymnastics, skating or go-kart racing. It's not essential that you win – be good at something difficult that you love.
Virtually any guy who fits in the category "good at something difficult that you love" could be trained to mentor young males. The candidate mentor would need training in an objective greater than just the skill. For the young person who feels lost, my go-to short-term fix is to volunteer at an animal shelter. Care about something other than yourself. Learn animal medicine (basic) and animal behavior. You might just find that chicks dig that you can connect with a dog or cat and make their life better.
This barely scratches the surface of the question, but there ARE successful mentors who are doing the job now – but there's never been an attempt (tht I know of) to apply a method to what they are doing individually to build it into something bigger and better organized.
William James wrote “The Moral Equivalent of War” over a hundred years ago. His philosophy of pragmatism is as American as cherry pie, and his model of masculinity deserves to be re-examined today.
This is a really fascinating topic, minus the contributions by the Josh Hawleys of the world. I can only add two things:
Men now receive about 74 bachelor’s degrees for every 100 awarded to women, and men account for more than 70 percent of the decline in college enrollment overall.
This^ is an amazing statistic. I don’t understand what’s behind it.
Even before the changes of the last couple generations, our culture never really had a for-real, culture-wide male initiation ritual and so it’s no wonder that large numbers of men remain boys. The closest thing I can think of is a bar mitzvah, or maybe joining the military.
I’m thinking of what happens in tribes, where one night a boy is told to go survive in the wilderness, and if he makes it, he returns a man (I’m glossing over a lot of details, but you get the idea). This transition is a formal ceremony with for real challenges that are part of tribal cultures.
I'm not sure if this will help our current "man" problem, but as they used to say in Brooklyn: "It vould't hoit."
I suggest some form of mandatory national service – with the military included, but not required, of course.
The length of the service can vary, from 1 year, up to 4. And each year of service can either be traded in for a year of college or vocational school, or a percentage of a deposit on a start-up business, or real estate. Or whatever we decide is fair.
And it should go without saying, of course, that this national service option will be open to women.
And there can be as a couple of service options: Local, national, and international.
For those who want to stay near where they grew up, there are tons of things that need doing.
Other folks might like to try something in a different part of America.
And still others, can go to other countries to help out, and learn.
Btw: I would pair up each young male doing his service, with a young female doing hers.
Maybe this pairing up would give young men an insight into someone who's not part of their core group of buddies.
And maybe there's a chance that this pairing up will also help lower, or even eradicate, our incel problem.
Them's my $0.02's worth!
Men would get a lot farther fixing these issues as well as lot more sympathy for and help with them if their first and frequently only reaction and/or solution wasn't consistently, "who can we oppress to make ourselves feel better?"
We fix it as a community. We come together to act to build the support systems that work locally.
When in early Rome you did what the early Romans did. You joined the military to learn carpentry, logistics, engineering, and basic raping and pillaging skills translatable to Roman capitalism. In late-stage Rome it seems they did pretty much what our young men do now, minus the electricity and free circuses, because all of the fertile ground had been captured by the patrician elites.
Maybe that’s what "late-stage" anything means.
Maybe men need to hope that expending their energies will have a reasonable personal payoff, and fear when expending energies doesn't seem worth the effort.
Men are emotional very.
Where do you think "crime of passion" came from as a concept? How many women have gotten away with murder as a crime of passion?
I need to look up college admissions and grades and sat scores by sex. I recall reading that colleges were artificially creating equal numbers by lowering standards for males. I need to go look that subject up.