Wuss Nation

Posted on by

Recent events show us that America is a nation of frightened people. But we are frightened of the wrong things.

For example, some of you pointed out a problem with “open carry” revealed by the recent shootings in Colorado Springs. Someone spots an apparently unhinged person walking around a residential neighborhood with a firearm, and sensibly calls police. But the police can’t do anything, and won’t respond to 911 calls, until the gunman actually starts killing people. Because in Colorado, open carry is legal.

So, because there are wusses who can’t so much as drive to a suburban Home Depot without being armed for self-defense, we’re all in more danger.

Here’s another one for you:

You all know how it is. You’re in a Sanford, Florida, Cracker Barrel on Sunday morning with the after-church crowd. A patron carrying a legally registered firearm is getting up to pay when his gun slips out of its holster, hits the floor, and “discharges” one round into your lower leg, requiring you to seek medical care for “non-life threatening injuries” before you can so much as finish your gravy-covered meal of gravy-fried gravy.

Yum, gravy-fried gravy. I hope that comes with biscuits. And the best part, which makes this just all-American perfect, is that because police decided this was an accident, it’s unlikely charges will be filed.

So, because this wuss and others like him are terrified that criminal elements are hiding along the Interstate somewhere between the Econo Lodge and the KFC, going out for biscuits and gravy can send you to the ER, and not because of e coli.

Chalk this one up to Teh Stupid — Houston voters rejected an equal-rights law, by all accounts because it would allow trans women to use women’s bathrooms. Opponents even were calling it the Bathroom Ordinance. Those of us d’un cer·tain âge might remember how the ghastly specter of unisex bathrooms helped defeat the Equal Rights Amendment. We Americans care deeply about keeping people using restrooms properly sorted by genitalia type.

Opponents of the bill shrieked that it would allow pedophiles and other perverts to molest women in restrooms. From the Dallas Morning News:

Apparently, when you take a routine civil-protections measure and feed it through the big anti-LGBT scarification machine what you get is the possibility that men might pee in the ladies room.

And not just any men, either. We’re talking about scary demented sex predator perverts, sharing the very same stalls with sweet little pig-tailed girls in their little plaid schoolgirl uniforms, or with modest elderly grandmas who use their lavender-scented hankies to avoid touching germy toilet handles with bare hands.  …

… “No Men In Women’s Bathrooms”! is the overwrought rallying cry around which opponents have gathered, like frightened cavemen huddled around the safety of the campfire.

The bill was about equal protection in matters like employment and housing, of course. I don’t know what the wusses think they’re accomplishing with barricading the restrooms, because frankly there ain’t nothin’ sexual predators could do in a restroom that they aren’t already doing elsewhere.

Anyway, the real issue is women in men’s restrooms. We are tired of perpetually standing in line while the menfolk breeze in and out of men’s rooms and don’t miss any of the game or movie.  We should just go where the line is shortest. Or make all restrooms unisex, and when the menfolk get tired of standing in line maybe they’ll see the wisdom in building more public restrooms.

Kentucky, one of the two southern high-poverty states that has visibly benefited from Obamacare — the other being Arkansas — just elected a governor who pledged to end Obamacare and shut down the state health insurance exchange.  Getting health care is scary. Apparently the election also was decided by issues such as “school choice,” meaning the dismantling of the public school system, to be replaced by corporate for-profit McSchools; against the federal government and its dastardly safety and environmental regulations that cut into coal mining profits; against secularism that demands public employees actually abide by the law; and against President Obama and his nefarious blackness.

In other words, Kentuckians just shot themselves in the foot, big time. Good luck, you poor fool wusses.

 

18 thoughts on “Wuss Nation”

  1. I grew up in the Bluegrass, and just visited there. My brother-in-law was very worried that this idiot might win, and we did see a lot of signs for him as we drove around, but I could not believe that they would actually elect this fool. Apparently he is as truth-challenged as Ben Carson. What is ironic is that he challenged McConnell in the GOP primary last year, and many ads were run telling folks he was totally unqualified for public office. Guess Kentuckians have short memories, eh?

  2. I have a gun contol suggestion:
    Determine the size of the gun and the amount of ammo a man can have, in direct proportion to the size of his own ‘personal pistol.’

    Starting the day the law is passed, every guy who wants to buy a gun must first go to the gun -dealer and have his his pecker and it’s pals measured* and registered for the governments records .**
    Small pecker and b-b sized cojones? You can buy one small single-shot pisol.
    Medium size package gets you more and bigger guns, and ammo.
    P*rn star quality privates means you can get whatever you want, because you’re not self conscious about the size of your meat puppet, and it probably gets plenty of motion – if you get what I mean. 😉

    * I’ll need to patent a new pecker enlarger, so that I can make a mint. And it won’t matter that it won’t work – apparently, people have been selling them for centuries, and no guy’s ever gone from a thimble to a meat axe in all of that time. But, guys keep buying them anyway…

    ** I know the argument is that buyers don’t want to get their gun(s) registered, and this avoids all of that.
    And, if guy’s don’t want to get measured, well then, NO gun for you!
    “What’s the matter, bud, you want to get a gun, but are afraid of being laughed at? Well, my friend, if the price of liberty and freedom is a bit of derisive laughter, and you can’t take it, then apparently they’re not worth much to you. This here slingshot is cheap, and I hear one killed at least one Arab or Middle Eastener!”

    FYI – this comment is made entirely in jest.
    If you’re a gun nut and are offended, why not break out a ruler and check why you just might be a gun nut.

    ‘

  3. Saw a photo this morning of a man holding a sign “No men in women’s bathrooms” — as if it would be his problem anyway. Schmuck.

  5. As I’m sure many men will agree with me, while the public men’s room urinals are bad enough – with spillage on the floor from misses as the main problem – the toilet stalls make pig sty’s look like the bathrooms at a Four Seasons Hotel (not that I’d know).

    I always thought that above the toiletbowl in every stall in a public restroom , there should be a sign that says the following:
    ‘Gentlemen, if you are standing at this toilet to urinate and you don’t have the aiming skills of Robin Hood, for Christ’s sake, lift the fucking seat, or you’re a PIG!!!’

    I’m sure that womens rooms have their own set of horrors, but you women would think even less of most men if the two sexes had to share public bathrooms.
    Imagine the worst mess your sloppiest significant other left in your private bathroom – before you trained or tossed him -and multiply it by how many men frequent that facility every hour.
    And this is not accounting for the misogynist who will, out of spite, really do a number in that stall, before ‘graciously’ saying, “It’s all yours, Ma’am.”

    If standing in line is your worst complaint -and I understand how excruciating that can be – be careful what you wish for…
    Can HazMat suits be made to fit in purses or backpacks?

  6. gulag, I’m liking your suggestion, altho I’m thinking would be better to do it exactly inverse. The more you’re packing, the LESS you get to pack, if you see what I am saying. Pretty soon every red blooded american male will be walking around with tiny little BB pistols, complaining bitterly (but proudly, if you see what I’m sayin) that this is all they are allowed to have… Anybody waving around an honest to god assault rifle would be looked upon with nothing but pity…

  7. Back in the day when I was walkin’ with the Lord we used to go to Luby’s after sunday service for some good ole fellowship. Then something happened at a Luby’s cafeteria that made it fall out of favor with our Christian crowd. I don’t recall what the incident was, but I do remember it had something to do with guns.

  10. “I could not believe that they would actually elect this fool”

    I can, I was surprised Bevin didn’t beat McConnell, it seems only the republicant establishment know how to beat a teabagger, Wasserman’s DNC not so much! To me Bevin’s election puts a period on the dimwitted teabagger revolution, it is really the final sign that FAUX news and the wing-nut echo chamber have indeed changed this nation forever. Before FAUX the dullard idiots who vote for people like Bevin, Cruz, Wallace, Paul, etc were not interested in politics or current events, why those newspapers and Tee Vee news shows were just full of big words and fancy educated liberals. They couldn’t care less and we as a nation benefited from their indifference. But Roger Ailes and the corporate wing-masters knew they were losing public sentiment to the truth. Now the dullards have a 24 hr cable news channel complete with bleach blonde bobble-bimbos, pro-life pro-gun reality TeeVee shows, wingnut radio dominates the am dial, conspiracy websites like the blaze, drudge, Newsmax have acceptance in mainstream media circles. Hell they even own the Wall Street Journal? We really are fucked. On the bright side we have fools like Trump and Carson and Cruz actually being seriously considered for president, which is quite entertaining as long as you don’t consider the eventual calamity!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZvYLGgGEtQ

  11. “wusses who can’t so much as drive to a suburban Home Depot without being armed for self-defense”

    I’m holding out hope the NRA will go too far, at some point citizens are going to have had enough, right? If the NRA and their Pimps were smart they’d embrace some modest regulations just to preserve the business they have now. They must figure no fear, no wusses! In the meantime duck!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oj5VoF43czo

  13. But how do you know if he’s unhinged or just for stroll with his AK?

    Because he’s strolling with an AK. Firmly grounded and real Muricans do their strolling with an AR-15.

  14. Ah Gulag…By your metrics…I be packin’ a Snub nose “38 caliber special”…not really, a Gop size by any means….but it is easy to maintain, and the wife doesn’t complain about the kick it has…or am I off base here?

  15. Been reading about Kentucky – apparently (no linkee) Mitch McConnell – who supported this guy – who has no political experience – earlier claimed that Bevins was a pathological liar.

    Sounds like Kentucky is trying to one-up Kansas.

  16. Ah, the memory came back to me after a little research. It’s not easy getting old. I used to pride myself on my ability to recall insignificant details and meaningless facts. But as I age, I find that the clarity of mind I once possessed somewhat dissipating.
    I guess part of the problem, in this particular case, stems from an information overload concerning mass shooting in America. After so many mass shooting the details and horrific nature of a particular mass shooting just kinda blends into a haze where the horror and outrage becomes commonplace and the attention to detail gets lost.
    Anyway, here’s a link the Luby’s shooting I was having trouble remembering.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luby%27s_shooting

    What I’m seeing is that the Luby’s shooting at one time was in the number one spot for kills in a mass shooting. That I find strange because if someone would have asked me which mass shooting had the highest number of kills or victims —you know, like a trivia question — I would have said the McDonald’s shooting that happened in California way back when.
    I think what I’m trying to say is there has been so many mass shooting that I can’t keep track any more and I don’t know if it’s a failure of my memory due to aging or if the mass shootings are now such a regular part of American life that they’ve become ho-hum. And there is no need to clutter my memory with insignificant details.
    Oh, one other thing….If anyone pursues the link above and reads it..You’ll see George Bush had his hand in the proliferation of the current insanity dominating the debate on Guns in America.
    “The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is with a good guy with a gun”.

  18. You’ll see George Bush had his hand in the proliferation of the current insanity dominating the debate on Guns in America.

    But he’s blaming it on Cheney and Rumsfeld. 🙂

Comments are closed.