The Twilight of the Newt

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Nate Silver expects Mittens to win Florida, and conventional wisdom says that will effectively be the end of the contest. If true, we have only a few more days to snark about Newt. Unfortunately I am snarked out at the moment. Even Charles Pierce is out sick, and his replacement’s efforts fall a bit short on the coffee-snorting meter.

But if any of you are in the mood to snark, be my guest.

13 thoughts on “The Twilight of the Newt”

  1. Newt, that great Grifter, can’t complain!

    I don’t think he ever thought he would be taken seriously for this long.

    Gingrich only got in to get Gingrich, ging-richer.

    Finally, a Republican who can say, “Mission Accomplished!”, and tell the truth.

  2. Don’t worry ’bout losing Newt. Wait till the bood ol’ fundies focus on this Romney deed:

    StopMakingSense2

    781 Fans
    4 minutes ago ( 5:54 PM)
    What superstition doesn’t have a few loose ends? That doesn’t mean the whole baseless thing is nonsense does it?

    ——————–

    This hilarious comment on Jan 25 Huffpo about Mormons doing baptism of the dead is on a story that includes Mitt Romney’s admission that he has performed baptism of the dead in the past, but evidently not recently.

    I have had several fun minutes attempting to imagine the sputtering outrage of learning that one’s sainted great-great grandmother’s soul has been co-opted by Mittens as a potential wife on his celestially-promised planet in the new world order.

    But how will they manage to put the blame on liberals?

    • I could be wrong about this, but it’s my understanding that the reason Mormons do so much genealogical research is that they are determined to baptize everyone who ever lived. If you have ended up on one of their charts, they might have baptized you without your knowing about it.

  3. I, for one, would like to be among the first to congratulate Newt on his successful campaign to enhance his status on right-wing book-and-talk circuit, since “former leading Presidential candidate” must be worth real dollars to Gingrinch Enterprises going forward.

    I am disappointed that, by hammering the Bain issue, he did force Mitty Rich to work out how to defend against it, which means we’ll spend all summer hearing about how it’s OK to be a ghastly wealthy robber baron because it’s just “being successful” and a “good businessman.” Still, I think Newt can take credit for helping the GOP candidate.

    Above all, I’m going to miss the repeated chuckles he brings me with his repeated misuse of the word “grandiose” when what he really means is “grand”. He seems utterly immune to the implication that his ideas are affected, pompous or absurdly exaggerated, but since they ARE, it’s funny. Yes, Newt, you DO think grandiose ideas. Also in the clinical psychology sense: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandiosity

    The Moon base would be nice, though.

  4. The Moon base would be nice, though.

    Yeah, That’s what I thought. I had hopes of staking out a claim for a hemp farm.

  6. This just in:

    Gingrich also added: “I think someone running for President has a clear requirement to be honest. Because the only way you lead the American people is by having them believe in you.”

    HA-ha-ha-ha-ha! (Cue the tapes of Newt during the Clinton impeachment, all sanctimonious about infidelity while he was banging Callista on the side.)

    Newt really has been putting new life into the old “pot calling the kettle black” metaphor.

  7. Regarding the BB comment about Mitt’s not performing the Norman ritual baptism of the dead. I suspect he will eagerly brush up on it if he can ‘baptize’ Newt’s dead campaign. Or ol’ Newt himself for that matter.

    But reports of Newt’s campaign corpse might be premature depending on one random factor named Rick. If (the langagetwo-letter word in the language) Rick bows out early and that support mostly migrates to Newt, which is where it will go IMO, suddenly its a horse race again. The beautiful thing being it’s the Tea Party vs the GOP establishment with all the ugliness of the Civil War. Yes, in the end, the nuts will unite against Obama. But the frightful specter (or sphincter) of the GOP will repulse moderate voters – the ones who decide a close election.

    This election is about breaking the spine of the Tea Party. It’s the Congress, particularly the House, that is at risk. We need moderates to abandon the Tea Party in droves on election day.

    The John Birch Society was not discredited by liberals. Most of the credit for that goes to William F. Buckley Jr. Conservatives listened to a conservative spokesman and the predecessor of the teabagger movement died. The best dragonslayer is often a dragon. GO NEWT!

  8. Snark! Snark !Snark!
    How’s that?
    Swami, I’m liking your hemp farm idea.
    I’ve been following that option (industrial hemp, sativa) for some time now, and things are trending tpwards the affirmative.
    As for “Moon base Newt” goes; how soon can we get him in orbit?

  10. “I am disappointed that, by hammering the Bain issue…..” The issue may now be “old news”, but Mitt really has no good defense. He was CEO and they DID make money by raiding and dissembling vulnerable companies.

    I think Nate is right about the Newt being history, but I’d LOVE to see him pull an upset on Mittens. It would increase the entertainment value of the 2012 election year and TOTALLY piss off Mr. Moneybags.

  11. As a tribute to the late great Curtis LeMay, Newt says he was carpet bombed by Mittens factually false ads. I would, historically speaking, say that Mittens gave him a saturation bombing like the one Hanoi experienced in June of 72. And while we’re making historical analogies Newt is probably hunkered down like Hitler was in his Berlin bunker.

    I love historical analogies…I see one in the heavy weight title fight back in the 70’s between Jerry Clooney and Ken Norton… Norton while looking physically menacing got his dick strings knocked loose in the first round…just like Newt did in the florida primary race.

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