Newt’s Staff Resigns

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I’ve been working on another blog post that should be published later this evening, But I just learned that Newt’s entire senior campaign staff resigned today, along with his entire paid Iowa staff and senior staff in New Hampshire and South Carolina.

For what it’s worth, Fred Barnes blames Calista. Yeah, it’s Fred Barnes. Take that with a grain of salt.

Update: Hey, thanks to Newt, maybe cable news will stop being All Weiner, All the Time. Thanks, Calista!

9 thoughts on “Newt’s Staff Resigns”

  1. That’s good news! Maybe Newt can pull an historical parallel out of his fact filled cranium to explain his sudden misfortune. Who knows?..Xerxes might have had a similar shake up back in the day.

  2. Well, it does make sense that Callista might be the reason that Newt’s staff packed it in. Maybe Callista knows that when Newt gets too involved in serving his country he has a tendency to relieve his patriotic stresses by committing patriotic adultery. If I were Callista, I certainly wouldn’t want to subject my darling Newt to excessive temptations.

  3. The strategy of blaming the wife misses the point.

    The professional staff wanted a full-time, committed candidate. Newt was a part-time candidate. Whether this was because of Newt’s wife, Newt’s doctor, other Newt himself is beside the point. The professional staff did not want to be in on a lame, half-baked publicity stunt masquerading as a campaign.

    Newt is to blame for this. I suspect he will toss in his cards this week.

  4. A reworking of that classic released in defense of him after Newt spilled the beans on “Meet the Republicans.”
    Newt:
    ‘My campaign cannot tolerate threats from staffers who might disrupt my comfortable world.
    The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness when my wife and I went on another vacation.
    They fired timidly at me and my wife first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment’s cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods – and the SOB’s quit on me.
    Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles as they move on to other candidates.
    But surely they had thought they had killed me off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of my staffers vicious onslaught.
    But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia and resignations emerged Gingrich, I, Newt – once again ready to lead those who won’t be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces by donating to what’s left of my candidacy.
    And I, Sir Newt, fight on!!!
    Oh, hey, no matter what happens, don’t forget to keep sending money!”

  5. “If I were Callista, I certainly wouldn’t want to subject my darling Newt to excessive temptations”

    Yeah she’d hate to see him stray, he such a catch! Whats the deal with that hair of hers? If by some miracle Newt gets elected I’ll be buying stock in Aqua Net.

    • Yeah she’d hate to see him stray, he such a catch!

      Put another way, she’s got him by the you-know-whats.

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