"Barbara O’Brien’s wide-ranging account of Zen history is conveyed with a master storyteller’s ability to keep the forest from getting lost in a myriad of trees. Wearing her scholarship lightly, she blends just the right amount of skepticism about her hagiographic sources with a deep appreciation for the Dharma." — Barry Magid, author of
Nothing Is Hidden and
Ending the Pursuit of Happiness Order here!
I can see it now: 3-year-old pulls off and chokes on a plush-toy Fallopian tube, then hurks her Malt-O-Meal all over grandma’s carpet. My employer pays an insurance claim to clean up the mess, and I get stuck trying to recover (“subrogate”) from a toy company called “I Heart Guts.”
On the topic of “weird news,” here’s something I’ve been pondering all morning:
Who’s crazier– Sarah Palin or Rod Blagojevich? And how would we test that?
What if we ran them both through some sort of obstacle course, like the kind you see at canine competitions? Hmmm…. [Wavy lines cue the fantasy sequence….]
A stretch limo pulls up and our first contestant, Gov. Palin, is kicked out onto the curb by Katie Couric. The governor rolls athletically and scrambles to her feet, and immediately is attacked by Joan Rivers, Conan O’Brien and Joy Behar, who are trying to determine if her beehive hairdo is the real deal. Major points off if it’s not! Her beehive disheveled but intact, Gov. Palin escapes her attackers by belting them with her Gucci handbag. She proceeds across a narrow wooden beam above a pit full of bloggers in flannel bathrobes, who use cellphone cameras to take upskirt snaps of (oh god, we hope!) the governor’s underwear. But she’s tottering unsteadily on those high heels– oh, no! down she goes!— and she ends up body-surfing the mass of bloggers, a look of the foulest disgust on her face, until she is deposited prostrate before her State Supreme Court– three humorless justices on 12-ft-high stilts, wearing black robes and wielding enormous “Whack-A-Mole” mallets….
Meanwhile, Gov. Blago is kicked to the curb by Oprah Winfrey, and instantly stripped of the dead skunk on his head by a surprisingly agile Joan Rivers, who then engages in a game of “keepaway-from-the-lanky-orangehaired-doofus” with Joy Behar. Bald-headed but unbowed, Gov. Blago forges on, skipping the balance beam entirely and executing a cannonball dive into the blogger pit, instantly crushing Arianna Huffington into yet another greasy stain on Matt Drudge’s penny loafers. Gov. Blago head-butts Markos Moulitsas, giving him a bloody nose, and then gets a leg up out of the pit from Ken Layne of wonkette.com. The governor flings himself at his State Supreme Court justices, screaming the poetry of e.e. cummings at the top of his lungs, while he runs a series of figure-eights around and through the justices’ stilts ….
[Wavy lines… back to the real world.] Hmmm… I’d say Blago is crazier, hands down, while Palin is mostly evil. I haven’t seen a Gucci handbag wielded like that since the days of Leona Helmsley.
I am sorry. i missed how Palin is ‘mostly evil’.
Where did you get that. Or do you mean that anyone espousing conservatism is mostly evil?
So.. the people who gave you free elections. Are evil.
The people who invented tolerance. Are evil
The people who fought and ended slavery. Evil.
The people who gave you the free market. Evil. (yea i know you hate them.. sickos)
Sir.
Fukc you..
do not have a nice day
Always remember… Obama is an illinois politician.. he is dirty, bought and paid for.. and more of a liar than blago.
Kent J — in the 19th century, the Republican party advocated liberal social policies, and the Dems were the conservatives in the context of their times.Thus, liberals fought and ended slavery.
Free elections are the quintessential contribution of liberalism. Conservatives of the 18th century favored monarchy.
Tolerance is a basic liberal value. Conservatives value intolerance.
In the 19th century, liberalism was associated with free markets and conservatism with the privileges of inherited wealth. That definition of liberalism has changed, of course.
In the 21st century, you are an uneducated idiot.
Good bye.
Hello Maha! I found your blog at the bottom of a yahoo odd news story (I think). I enjoyed the commentary and will be back.
Oh, and thanks for setting Kent straight.
There really isn’t anything to say to someone like Kent J, who extrapolates a string of spittle-flecked nonsense from his own confused brain, not from anything I wrote as satire. Plus, he must have been sedated during the entire 2008 presidential election, which is understandable.
It isn’t anything to crow about that I pissed off someone who can’t think clearly, so I’m just sad for him.
I think you could benefit from some kind of conseling…………..
you seem to be a few cards short………..What exactaly IS your
agenda?
Wow, Kent is apparently the official spokesman for 99% of knuckle-dragging conservative Cro-Magnons that I work with. Nice job with the shut-down – can I quote you?
Thank you maha and joanr16, what a way to wake up early Friday AM. I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard… However, I have to disagree about Palin being ‘mostly evil’; absurdly inexperienced and unqualified, yes. Dangerously opinionated and biased regarding what individual morals and values should be, absolutely. But the scariest thing was exactly how close to one chest pain or last gasp she was from the presidency. OMG, could you imagine??!!!!!!! OK, I guess we’ll just leave it at ‘somewhat evil’. : )
The visual of the 3 justices on stilts with giant ‘Whack-a-mole’ mallets is just too funny… Bwaaaahaaaaahaaaaa!!! Stop, stop, you’re killing me…. Too funny.
Fricking hilarious. Obviously some people are wound so tight ,even their panties are cutting off their circulation.Some people need to get a sense of humor and lighten up. Grow up ..Your intolerant,uptight,controlling thoughts / beliefs are laughable at best and repugnant at worst.!!!