I’m glad to see I’m not the only one wondering where Jonathan Chait left his brain yesterday. Kathy Kattenburg writes,
Plainly, being a male liberal (or kinda sorta liberal-libertarian) on abortion rights does not, sad to say, mean that the pro-choice part overpowers the testosterone-induced need to mansplain women’s lives to them.
This is what Chait said, regarding Rick Perry’s comments about Wendy Davis, that pissed me (and Kathy) off:
The immediate liberal reaction is that Perry was “attack[ing] her motives and her experiences,†or “dismissing her as an unwed, teen mother.†But Perry is not attacking Davis here. Perry is pointing to her life as a success. His comments are tantamount to a liberal arguing that Ted Cruz’s family history shows why we need more immigration.
Chait goes on to lecture us pro-reproductive rights folks about how anti-rights people have a right to their opinion too, which I suppose makes it perfectly acceptable for them to force their views on the rest of us by closing abortion clinics.
But it stuns me that Chait and some other generally leftie males are oblivious to the belittling, condescending, patronizing, insult to Davis at the heart of Perry’s remarks. One more time — where does any man get off dictating to any woman what she should have learned from her experiences as a woman and mother? Whether the woman was married or single? Whether she chose an abortion or not? Exactly how does white skin and a penis signify all-pervading wisdom?
In case any of you still don’t see it, here are some resources on “mansplaining.”
A Cultural History of Mansplaining
Mansplaining 101: How to Discuss Politics and Feminism Without Acting Like a Jackass
Men Explain Things to Me: Facts Didn’t Get in Their Way
This is such a common experience for a woman — dealing with men who assume they know better than you do about everything, including your own area of expertise, because. And then if you come out and tell them, y’know, I actually know quite a lot about this, and I would prefer you not instruct me unless I ask you a question — you get this oh, isn’t she cute smirk, and then they go on explaining things you already know as if you were six years old. Or — my personal favorite — we are told that maybe people would listen to us more if we were nicer. It’s maddening. And allegedly liberal men do it too sometimes.
One of the most offensive things he said was: “Who are we to say that children born into the worst of circumstances can’t grow to live successful lives?†He then goes on to infer that since Davis had a single Mom and was a single Mom herself that these are “the worst of circumstances”. I would submit that Mr. Perry must have been born into “the worst of circumstances”. Anyone who has held high office, held the rank of captain in the military, has a college education and is still as thoroughly fucking ignorant and without conscience (261 executions in 13 years) as he is must have had a horrible childhood devoid of any sort of compassion, learning, curiosity and or love.
Hey, maha, easy now – don’t use TOO broad a brush! 🙂
Not ALL of us white-skinned guys with peckers claim any all-pervading wisdom.
And it not like most of the darker-skinned ones are any better. Take a look at EWWWWW! Jackson, running for Lt. Governor in VA, LA Gov “Booby” Jindal, and former Congresscritter, Allen West. They make Chait sound like Betty Friedan.
Often, real wisdom is in knowing how little wisdom you really have.
The one thing I’ve always said that I know about women, is that I know nothing about women.
I hope that didn’t come off as sexist. It wasn’t meant to. It’s just that, as a male, while I can empathize with women, and their experiences, I don’t have any experience at being a woman.
And, hopefully, that keeps me in line, and doesn’t make me sound like so many of my fellow white-skinned pecker-packers.
the testosterone-induced need to mansplain women’s lives to them
“Heh heh heh… lemme get that for ya, little lady….”
But what they don’t get could fill all the oceans.
And, hopefully, that keeps me in line, and doesn’t make me sound like so many of my fellow white-skinned pecker-packers.
Don’t worry, I find that women and minorities are generally better than white men at seeing everyone as fully human. Of course, some will hold your race and sex against you, but they’re assholes.
For me, it’s true that I haven’t had the experience of being a woman, but that doesn’t mean I can’t know anything. Ultimately the only way I can understand anyone’s experience besides my own is to listen to them.
It would probably be a good idea to make one of those daily calendars with “Mansplaining example #” instead of “Word of the Day”. Every day would have a fresh anecdote to serve as a reminder and an example of how not to be a jerk. What could it hurt? It would also be a natural “Secret Santa” gift.
You have to admit, it would serve a need and make life at the office, and life in general a little better. I am sure most women could come up with enough examples to fill nine or ten years of daily anecdotes, just during lunch hour.
The articles jarred my memory of Echidne of the Snakes, who has a Ph.D. in economics. She once wrote about this same phenomenon. Evidently, when men in social situations found out she had a doctorate in economics, a common response was to start pontificating about their own views on economics, despite a comparative lack of knowledge and education.
Sometimes I wish that scientists would isolate the gene that makes us unable to resist trying to impress others and replace it with a “listen, you might learn something” gene.
Alas, the problem might be more nurture than nature.
Here’s an alternative version of manslaining.. Basically it means that to God women are just an afterthought. The Alpha and the Omega who knew the end from the beginning didn’t have the foresight or understanding to see what he was creating in the way of inequality. If women were created unequally than they’ll always remain unequal no matter how you contort the understanding.
Oooops!
Looks like we were all wrong about Goober-nor Perry.
He wasn’t “Mansplaining.”
NO!
He was ‘Manpraising” her!
‘Perry’s office told the New York Daily News on Friday that Perry was “praising Sen. Davis for her success despite coming from difficult circumstances.‒
Well, I’m certainly glad he cleared THAT up!
YEEEESH!
Boy’s ’bout as sharp a beachball!
And here, from HuffPo, is the late, greatest-of-the-great, George Carlin, talking about abortion and religion.
ROFLMAO!!! But definitely, NSFW!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=AvF1Q3UidWM
@Swami – the notion that: to God women are an afterthought, is so contradictory to biology and anthropology. It’s the height of patriarchical, God-the-Father religion, and yet I realize this is only one view, albeit a rather large view, inside Christianity. By contrast, think of the zillions of fertility goddess statues found all over the world, artifacts of more ancient religions. The “woman as afterthought” viewpoint is very much an anomaly, and I would argue, an artificial, viewpoint.
Mansplaining: thanks for focusing on this. As a proud carrier of the XY chromosome, I’m sure this behavior is either hardwired into my dna or it’s otherwise been very heavily programmed into my conditioning. We guys do it without even realizing it.
In 2008 during the primaries when Dems were choosing between Obama and Hillary, I was amazed that Obama was able to beat Hillary and win the nomination. My wife wasn’t surprised at all. She said that people were more ready for a black male nominee than a woman nominee. And this is Dem voters. So I said, “what, you think Americans are more misogynistic than racist”. She said absolutely. the type of attitude that a candidate has to assume to be considered competent is interpreted as bitchy when done by a woman. When a man does it it’s considered decisive and having ‘resolve’. When done by a black man it is considered uppity, but only sometimes.
I think the link from Kathy Kattenburg nails it, but I’m a bit surprised that she needs to.
Is it really hard to see the misogyny in “bless her heart, she can’t wrap her poor li’l head around the lesson she should have learned”?
Especially when she’d just kicked his tail hard enough that he should be looking like he has a hunchback? I again say that Perry has all the makings of being a piss-poor loser, a man who can’t just settle down and admit he got beaten fair and square.
I’ll grant this: If Rick Perry had pulled “if a certain woman had feared being a single mother, and not chosen life, we’d have lost a damn fine state senator”, I’d say that Chait could defend him without being an idiot. It’d still be a dirt-cheap shot, but then you could say “he’s pointing to her life as a success story”.
But that’s not what happened.
For some, it apparently is hard.
“She said that people were more ready for a black male nominee than a woman nominee. And this is Dem voters. So I said, “what, you think Americans are more misogynistic than racistâ€.
What does this have to do with “mansplaining”? Hillary got beat because she ran a lousy campaign, remember Mark Penn? Go toss off!
The Mansplaining on Tumbler link is a hoot! I know it is infuriating, but the dramatic irony of lack of self-knowledge is making my brain feel like a yo-yo!
I read in the paper that somebody won a $20 million lottery – a poor unwed mother at that. This proves that since one person can win the lottery, everyone can win the lottery. There’s faulty logic here.
I’m not suggesting Wendy Davis is a success because of luck. A whole lot of hard work, plus talent, with a little luck on the side put her in the Texas legislature. Not everyone is going to make it for an infinite number of reasons. Not everyone can – not everyone will want to try. An unexpected pregnancy can be a curse that throws your whole life plan into chaos.
Terminating a pregnancy – early – should be a matter of choice and facilities to carry out that choice should be available. I do believe there is a point where a woman who delays a decision too long, forfeits her right – the Supreme Court set that point when the fetus is viable outside the womb. That’s not 20 weeks by any stretch of the imagination.
Where I work, there is a 32 year old guy who knows everything.I don’t know how I made it this far in life without his insightful comments and advice. I lovingly refer to him as “Sponge Dave Block Head”. He just recently moved out of his parent’s house when he “hooked up” with an active military woman who needs his expert advice.She repays him by letting him live on her mini ranch at no charge, and allows him to use her military discounts. Did I mention how he hates freeloaders and people who take advantage of the “government”? So these “know-it-alls” don’t just employ their charm and wit on women. On the flip side, there is one woman at work who is quick to bite off heads, and I think she’d dissolve into a pile of green goo if someone threw a glass of water on her.
OT – Matt Taibbi, on why ratings agencies have more that just a little ‘splainin’ to do:
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/the-last-mystery-of-the-financial-crisis-20130619
PS: Don’t read this, and have a sharp implement nearby – unless you live near a ratings agency exec, that is. Or a banker.
This kind of makes you want to dull your guillotine, and let it rust, so it’ll take at least several whacks to behead the amoral greedy sociopaths who are responsible for sh*t like this.
Thank you for the link, Barbara!
We guys do it without even realizing it.
Yeah, we do. But it’s the testosterone that’s to blame.
I’m off to Gettysburg to photograph the reenactment so I won’t be available to give any of you women folk the benefit of my superior male wisdom for the next couple of days. Hope you can get by without me.
You’re a great bunch of people. ( for being liberals, that is)
My truth is truer than your truth. 🙂
Swami,
It’s the 150th!
ZOMG!!!
And, the SCOTUS, just gave the Confederacy a victory, in “The Cold Civil War.”
Well, I don’t know if I can express this clearly.
I enjoyed these links and thanks to Ms. Kattenburg.
I was talking to my wife the other day about the wave of feminism that was coming about around 1970, when I graduated high school. My girlfriend in my senior year was from a far more academic family than mine. She became increasingly vocal and feminist in her outlook as our year together went on. She often challenged my “thoughts” and opinions. It was sometimes uncomfortable and often I just didn’t “get it”.
But, as I told my wife, I cared for her enough to consider and often, reconsider what she was saying. It wasn’t easy. The world is and was a very sexist place and the world of adolescents is probably the worst of all. I was one of the beneficiaries of the sexism, so I never would have seen it on my own.
But, gradually, I DID start to get it. She taught me to step back, slough off what I could of my preconceptions, sidestep the discomfort of having my worldview questioned and try to look at things anew. I can’t say that I am adept at this, because I am not, but, I am a lot better at it than I might have been without her or without dozens of other women who said disturbing things. After all, a true insight is often disturbing precisely because it is true. It demands starting over and revision.
The conversation with my wife led to the observation that without the women who shook up my world, I would never have become the man she wanted to marry. So, I am grateful to those who said, “irritating”, “annoying” and “disturbing” things. Because those things made my world a lot richer.
Sorry, I know this is sappy and not very well put, but, I am a pretty simple soul.
Bless you, goatherd.
goatherd,
Give some credit to yourself, too – you were willing to listen, and to learn.
Neither of which our Bible-thumping Conservatives are willing to do, even if they were able to.
No. To them, everything worth knowing is written in stone, and coated with stainless-steel. Never to be altered – never even to be questioned.
They like modern conveniences and technology, just fine – as almost everyone does.
They just can’t understand why they can’t have those nice things in the same political, social, and cultural settings, like their predecessors had in the 1850’s.