This Is Brilliant

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You must read this commentary by Charles Pierce. You will laugh. You will cry. You will blow coffee out your nose.

Not necessarily the best bit, but what I want to comment on —

A Republican may well get elected president next year. But, whoever that is, first has to answer, constantly, to the voices in the party’s head. It’s exhausting work. It’s already eaten Bachmann alive, and Herman Cain is next on the menu. Which is probably why so much energy seems to be going into the promotion of candidates who are not running. Right now, the non-candidate du jour is Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey, who replaced Governor Mitch Daniels of Indiana, who replaced Governor Rick Perry of Texas, who made the capital mistake of actually running, and who already has flummoxed and disappointed Bill Kristol, maker of public men and truly unnecessary wars.

Pierce goes on to say that “If Bill Kristol went to the track, he’d bet on the fucking starting gate.” I want that on a needlepoint pillow cover.

Anyway — Pierce goes on to say that both Mittens and Yosemite Sam Perry blew it with wingnut voters because of what they did that was effective.

In the debate on Thursday night, both he [Perry] and Romney fell afoul of having done, during their terms as governor of their respective states, something reasonably decent for the citizens therein. In Romney’s case, of course, he passed a law that has resulted in 95 percent of the people in Massachusetts being covered by health insurance. In Perry’s case, he allowed the children of undocumented immigrants to pay in-state tuition to the state universities in Texas.

And from what I’ve read, that’s the pathetic truth. The base turned on these guys not because of the lies and the corruption and the phoniness or anything else they’ve done in their sorry-ass careers, but because of things they did that were sensible and beneficial.

But apparently the GOP establishment hasn’t noticed that Christie has already jumped that shark. He appointed a Muslim judge and belittled the hysteria over sharia law; and he agrees with climate change science. The base may have fallen in love with him awhile back for the many Youtube videos showing him denigrating public school teachers, but I’d say the bloom already is off that rose. If Christie does run, the base will eat him alive.

Jeb? You there?

13 thoughts on “This Is Brilliant”

  1. Thanks for the link to that piece. I missed my workout yesterday, and now I’ve laughed so hard I feel my abs are taken care of! I think the first line that set me off was “Buy a damn monocle already.” There are times when Pierce-ing mockery is the only sane response.

    I am getting curious about who the GOP candidate will be. They do seem to be eating each other alive, not that I’m complaining. The weaker and far-out the candidate, the better, as far as I’m concerned.

  3. Yeah, and I get the impression Christie knows he’d get torn apart – I get the impression he’s got some decent survival instincts and they’re screaming “don’t do it.” He’d get savaged not just on what he did, but he’s also not exactly national candidate material in the first place, and he’d look bad against Obama. He’d basically get torn apart by everyone.

    I think the Republican Base has become so easily manipulated they are in turn very fickle. All the hysteria, false news, and lobbying money has left them in a truth-proof bubble, randomly swinging this way and that.

  4. I must have missed it, but who comprises the so-called ‘base?’ Tea Party? But what’s the platform of the Party, who wrote it, who’s really pushing it and what percentage of the electorate identify themselves as Tea Party members.

    Bachmann recently said, “We don’t have to sit in the back of the bus on this one.” (I was so struck by what sounded like a ‘call’ for WHITE POWER, a neo-nazi parade theme back in the late ’50’s, that I didn’t pick up on what the “one” was.)

    For some, does a black man in the WH suggest the encroaching menace of BLACK POWER? Really far out but is it possible that what comprises the Tea Party membership (and sponsors) is a bunch of WHITE POWER advocates?

  5. Since Mr. Pierce partially quoted Dorothy Parker, I’ll finish it: “Intonstant Weader waffed weawwy hawd.”

    Who’s funnier?
    Pierce or Taibbi?
    I think that’s a delightful draw.

    I’d never heard of Charles Pierce before, but I was thinking about Taibbi as I chortled my way through that piece. How wonderful that they’re not just clever, they’re factual as well.

  6. joan,
    I’ve been reading him for years.
    He was on Eric Alterman’s blog for a long time. Pierce’s consistently hysterical, and doesn’t seem like he reaches, or tries, as hard as Taibbi sometimes does.

    I didn’t know he’d gone to Esquire. Now, I’ve bookmarked him. I recommend everyone does it, too!

  8. “Jeb? You out there?”
    He’s “out there” alright, I hope that’s where he stays.
    I want another Bush like I want a pine cone shoved up my butt.

  9. Felicity …The “one” is a reference to a true social conservative candidate. Meaning that Bachmann or her cause is on oppressed entity. Hence the back of the bus comment. No doubt it was a stupid comment to vaguely equate her candidacy to the civil rights struggle…but seeing how a black man is in charge now it doesn’t hurt to rile up the racists to add to her vote count. Bachmann’s dog whistle!

  10. They know the sheen comes off with exposure so maybe they will drop a brand spanking, shiny, new candidate in the 11th hour for a few moments unity…one who will capture a majority before votes have realized what they’ve done and become disenchanted.

  11. Who will the last minute Republican candidate be? I can think of so many wonderful choices: Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin, Pat Robertson, Ann Coulter, Joe the Plumber, Chuck Norris, or maybe someone direct from the Fox News team (Sean Hannity?).

    I’d suggest Orly Talitz – mother of the birther movement – but her birth certificate isn’t in order either. On the other hand, Republicans in Congress might push forward a bill just on her behalf, claiming the Moldavia (where she was born) would meet the definition of “natural born citizen” (hey, they did it for John McCain).

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